A little bit about myself to get started...
I am the oldest of three sons, born and raised in Swampscott Massachusetts. My parents were/are working class folks devoted to their family and building a better life for their three sons. My brothers and I grew up like many others in our town, we didnt have everything or anything we wanted, but we certainly had everything we needed. I was never a terribly good student or very well behaved youngster. In fact after grade school and the year after I started Jr. High, I was sent to an Alternative school in Middleton Mass. The Wreath School was started and run by a former pro football player, Gus Krantz. It was a place where kids of all ages attended and found a very different approach to learning and the "school" experience. It wasnt until years later that I would come to really appreciate my time there and the experiences I had. They were good days in a different time.
I eventually returned to the public school system and graduated in 1982. After high school I went to work for my Uncle John in a family contracting business. It was during this time that I started looking to go back to school and eventually applied to, and was accepted to the Art program at Montserrat College of Art and Design. It was there that I met a young woman and eventually we were married. That marriage didnt last very long and truth be told, we were just too young and not ready for the responsibility. It was after the end of this relationship that I found myself working nights at Lynn Hospital, which at the time was a locked psychiatric facilty. I became interested in health care and pursued a path towards becoming an EMT/I and then wanted to pursue Nursing school. Must be in the genes, my Mom was a nurse for 45 years. Dad is a Viet Nam era veteran and worked for the town and its likely had I given it any consideration, that I couldve gone to work in that arena. In 1994 I was made aware of a program at Salem Hospital where they were hiring EMT's to work in the Emergency room along side the Nurses and Doctors. I applied and was accepted into the position along with others I knew from the field.
This would take me on a path towards the single most devastating event of my life, my families life, and it would shape the future for me in a way I could never have anticipated. I had Emergency room experience going into this. While I was employed at Lynn Hospital, which was Atlanticare at the time, I was transfered to the Emergency department at Union Hospital as a dedicated security officer for the staff, where I assisted in and witnessed a multitude of traumatic events unfold with a variety of outcomes. I was back in school at the time and working nights and taking the requisite classes to become an EMT and eventually an EMT/I and board certified Diving and Hyperbaric medical technician.
So, as I said, I had been involved in the care and treatment of hundreds and maybe in reality, thousands of patients in my time in the emergency department. Everything from a sliced finger from cutting a bagel to compound fractures, heart attacks and horrible motor vehicle accident victims. And quite literally nearly everything you could imagine and a whole lot you never could.
June, 17, 1997:
It was a beautiful June day, there wasnt a cloud in the sky and the weather was as near perfect as it gets.I was scheduled to work in the walk in clinic side of the Emergency Dept. We would rotate there once week, and it was honestly a good way to get a break from the chaotic environment that is a Level 1 Trauma center. The walk in was pretty quiet and I was really just killing time that day. The Emergency room was absolutely chaotic. Around noon I got a phone call, this was before everyone had a cell phone. My brother was calling me from the Roadhouse Pub in Peabody Mass. where he was having lunch with a guy who was working for him. Unfortunately he wasnt a very good guy and had gotten himself in a jam with some people that I knew. Bobby explained to me what was going on and asked me if I could help the guy out and make a phone call on his behalf. I tried to explain the complexities of making a call like that, particularly under the circumstances. My best advice to him "Stay out of it, its none of your business. You have a family and a business and you dont want to get involved." He was pretty upset at me over that answer. It just then that a Dr. approached the desk I was sitting at and asked me a question, I told Bob to hold on a minute and I put the phone on hold. It took a minute or two to answer the Dr's questions and when I picked the phone back up, Bobby had hung up.
An hour or so later, the Nurse manager came over to ask me to come help them in the ER, they were overwhelmed and there was a GSW enroute (gunshot wound) and they needed the help for that trauma patient. I picked up what I was doing and headed across the hall to help set up to recieve the patient. The ALS crew arrived with the patient, intubated, unresponsive, CPR in progress. The victim was a young, approxiamately 30 year old male with a penetrating GSW to the center of his chest. I assisted them in transferring him from their stretcher to our trauma table and took over chest compressions from the medic. Theres a certain orchestrated chaos that takes place during trauma treatment in an emergency room, everyone has a specific role, subject to change of course. But everyone knows their job, and everyone focuses on performing that job to the highest level. At this moment I was focussed on mine. There were nurses and two doctors, respiratory therapists and x-ray technicians, the medics were still with us in the room and the chaos was well underway. I was standing on a step stool that we used to get up over a patient and I was performing chest compressions with the beat and rythym that I had so many times before, and would do again in the future. The patient was intubated and had most if not all of his clothes cut off of him in the field by the medics. Intubation in the field is sometimes messy and performed with an urgency, as it is in every case, but in the field there can typically be circumstances that dont lead to the best application of taping the tube in place, this was certainly the case in this instance. It was obvious that at least that bit had been hurried in an effort to expedite transport. It was effective and did the job as it was intended. This obstructed my view of the young man who I was working diligently to help resuscitate. And if Im being completely honest, I was never one to focus on the who in these events, I was always focussed entirely on performing my job. Im not certain why my focus was shifting, but I kept thinking "why are you so familiar?" " where do I know you from?" This kept running through my mind for the duration of this evolution of the event. My first break from chest compressions came when the ER Dr. asked me to stop so that he could take a look at the wound. There was a trauma pad applied to his chest which was directly under my hands while performing compressions. Examining the wound, which was a small entry wound that looked to be a bit smaller than a dime, was located directly in the center of his chest between the pectoral muscles. We rolled him up onto his right side and the EW (exit wound) was also examined, because of my position I was not able to see the EW at this point. There were still no vital signs present. By now they were pushing blood and fluids and the clock was running on this event. The decision was made to perform an Emergency Thoracotomy. I resumed chest compressions, which was the normal procedure during the execution of emergency thoracotomy. I had done this many times prior to this occasion so it was nothing new to me. *WARNING* For anyone reading this who may not know what emergency thoracotomy is; WARNING, EXTREMELY GRAPHIC VIDEO AND IMAGES.
An hour or so later, the Nurse manager came over to ask me to come help them in the ER, they were overwhelmed and there was a GSW enroute (gunshot wound) and they needed the help for that trauma patient. I picked up what I was doing and headed across the hall to help set up to recieve the patient. The ALS crew arrived with the patient, intubated, unresponsive, CPR in progress. The victim was a young, approxiamately 30 year old male with a penetrating GSW to the center of his chest. I assisted them in transferring him from their stretcher to our trauma table and took over chest compressions from the medic. Theres a certain orchestrated chaos that takes place during trauma treatment in an emergency room, everyone has a specific role, subject to change of course. But everyone knows their job, and everyone focuses on performing that job to the highest level. At this moment I was focussed on mine. There were nurses and two doctors, respiratory therapists and x-ray technicians, the medics were still with us in the room and the chaos was well underway. I was standing on a step stool that we used to get up over a patient and I was performing chest compressions with the beat and rythym that I had so many times before, and would do again in the future. The patient was intubated and had most if not all of his clothes cut off of him in the field by the medics. Intubation in the field is sometimes messy and performed with an urgency, as it is in every case, but in the field there can typically be circumstances that dont lead to the best application of taping the tube in place, this was certainly the case in this instance. It was obvious that at least that bit had been hurried in an effort to expedite transport. It was effective and did the job as it was intended. This obstructed my view of the young man who I was working diligently to help resuscitate. And if Im being completely honest, I was never one to focus on the who in these events, I was always focussed entirely on performing my job. Im not certain why my focus was shifting, but I kept thinking "why are you so familiar?" " where do I know you from?" This kept running through my mind for the duration of this evolution of the event. My first break from chest compressions came when the ER Dr. asked me to stop so that he could take a look at the wound. There was a trauma pad applied to his chest which was directly under my hands while performing compressions. Examining the wound, which was a small entry wound that looked to be a bit smaller than a dime, was located directly in the center of his chest between the pectoral muscles. We rolled him up onto his right side and the EW (exit wound) was also examined, because of my position I was not able to see the EW at this point. There were still no vital signs present. By now they were pushing blood and fluids and the clock was running on this event. The decision was made to perform an Emergency Thoracotomy. I resumed chest compressions, which was the normal procedure during the execution of emergency thoracotomy. I had done this many times prior to this occasion so it was nothing new to me. *WARNING* For anyone reading this who may not know what emergency thoracotomy is; WARNING, EXTREMELY GRAPHIC VIDEO AND IMAGES.
The ER Doctor began the procedure, which goes quite quickly as time is of the essence. During the procedure the thought that I recognized this person continued to run through my head and honestly I was searching for a name. If youve ever been unfortunate enough to need an emergency room, then youre likely familiar with the registration and triage desks and the great folks that work there. When someone comes to the ER via Ambulance, the triage takes place pretty much on the way to the facility and then again while in the ER itself. In these situations the registration person will come in and gather the necescarry information about the patient so they can begin putting the records together. On this day as is typical the registration person, whose name I cant recall, came into the trauma room, as the thoracotomy was being performed and asked "Is there any ID or a wallet?",
At which point, the words literally fell out of my mouth, "Robert J. DiPietro, March 29, 1967 he's my brother." If youve ever been in an ER trauma room during a trauma, you would understand how loud it can be in there, in that moment you could have heard a pin drop, and the entire room collectively turned and looked at me. The ER Doctor, Stephen Kohler turned and looked me in the eye and asked "Are you serious?" I answered him. "Yes, thats my little brother".
I cant tell you what happened immediately after that, in those few moments because for me the perception of time and reality had disappeared and things were flashing through my head at a pace that is virtually indescribable. Ill finish by saying this; That event shaped the next 25 years of my life in ways that at worst were so disturbing that at one point I went without sleep for more than seven days straight, at best I was barely functional and socially I was incapable of keeping a grip on things or keeping things in a healthy perspective. I continued to work in the ER for another year after that day. My ability to perform my job was entirely diminished. In 1998 I was diagnosed with PTSD and refered for treatment which I attempted and like so many others who suffer from it, walked away from it. It would prove to be a very difficult two decades until I found myself at the twenty year mark considering taking my own life to stop the freight train of horrible memories and flashbacks I had been enduring for all that time, I got past that and continued to deal with it (not really) for another five years. It wasnt until the second time I considered that, formulated a plan and set out to complete that plan that I found my way towards healing myself. Because of that I have dedicated myself to helping others who may be going through similar circumstance or even just some of lifes daunting challenges. My love and respect to all of you who have taken the time to read this. I wish you all the very best.
Im happy to elaborate more for any who is curious, just reach out, lets have a conversation.
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This is me weighing in at around 260 lbs. My PTSD had a strong hold on me and everything I did. It would be a few more years before I would finally realize the full extent of just how bad and how unhealthy I had become as a result of not attending to the warning signs.
This is me in Florida in February 2023 down to 200 lbs. Two years of therapy twice a week which included EMDR. It was the first time in years that I finally found relief from the symptoms that I wasnt even aware of.
